and his latest obsession is green beans. the funny thing is that he wouldn’t touch them in the jar but whole chunks are his fave.

i took a few pics from above him to catch the hair … wish the picture quality was better. oh well.

i’ve been wanting to try this but hadn’t gotten around to doing it … now, no excuses, with everything i needed given so generously to me!

it was super easy to make and has already lasted several weeks. we have used maybe half of what we made. how frugal and wonderful is that!? what a money saver. i am so thankful!

1 of the 3 jugs that the mix made

the ingredients and instructions were simple:

{all the ingredients were in a darling little plastic bag tied with a ribbon}

:: 1/3 bar fells naptha

:: 1/2 c arm & hammer washing soda

:: 1/2 c borax

mix ingredients with 6 c water in pot over medium heat. whisk til dissolved. pour in to bucket with 2 gal plus 2 c water. let sit for 24 hours til gelled. mix before use.  use 1/2 c per load; may add essential oil for fragrance.

the little tag with ingredients and instructions

but it’s where my mind is after a weekend full of intense beauty, challenge and experience. i continue to realize how much i don’t know naturally; how certain realities for some are simply outside of my understanding and experience.

i also realize, after being surrounded by such a beautifully diverse group of people over the weekend, how much i *appreciate* this contact and community … for my family – for my daughter, who commented that she saw girls that looked just like her. i love that, and need that … the confirming and validating of her beauty and that she is not alone in the world as a little girl looking as she does.

there were moments, conversations, interactions, love exchanged and shared, comments offered … many that made an impact on my mind and heart.

a few here… 

sunday morning, we went to a predominantly black church. what an extraordinary experience; the worship was unbelievable, and led by a saxophonist (can i get an ‘oh ya!’). the word delivered, about servant leadership, was just what i needed to hear that very morning – thank GOD. beyond that, the way our family was greeted and received could be described as nothing short of total love and warmth. hugs. compliments. conversation. invitation. it was beautiful …

after church, we went to popeye’s for lunch – yippee! the scene was memorable: snow falling outside, and our family inside this little warm food place, eating some of our favorite (“bad”) food. and there was this little exchange: hubby was near a door when an elderly black woman approached. he opened the door for her, and immediately she commented to him that, “your mom must have raised you right.” they struck up conversation, she came to our table and we talked and exchanged contact info. last night, after we’d returned home, do you know that this woman called my husband to further introduce her and her husband, and insist that the next time we visited portland we have dinner at her home? she is serious.  i love that.

certainly, my hubby’s MLK Jr keynote speech was the highlight in many ways. he was brilliant, clear and compelling in his words.

but stepping “above” that even was this greater sense in the place … like one person said, they felt like they’d “been to church.” the passion and sense of history in celebrating the legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr; the call to keep pressing forward, to join together, to deeply love … this was felt with such connection in that place.

we were seated at a table with a lovely couple; she introduced her husband as “The Reverend Jackson” and her name was wendy. i had no idea he would be delivering the invocation, and that she could sing. during the program, she went to the podium and sang a song with a message of: we are so close now, we can’t give up or give in. we must keep pressing on … we are so close.

that message resonates for me as i behold my husband and his organization being catapulted into a place of such opportunity and blessing, after so many long months of tireless efforts, convinced of the vision and pressing in.

we met so many people that day … countless greetings, conversations, hugs and encouragement. one stands out to me: a gorgeous woman, maybe in her 40′s, took her children up on the dais after the program to meet my hubby. they then came over to the table where i was sitting with the kids and introduced themselves. her daughter, elena, was turning 12 that day. she could have been maddie’s sister – just darling! her son was maybe 14.  so this woman and i talk, and she asks where we live. when i tell her the city we live in, in southern oregon, she tells me a story. her parents were an interracial married couple and when they would drive through southern oregon on their way to california, the kids would have to cover their heads with scarves in the back seat, duck as the parents drove quickly through the area.

we had no less than FIVE people comment to us, upon learning where we live, something to the effect of: oh, southern oregon. *knowing look*.  your hubby must really love you, to have moved there.

honestly, i had no idea. i had a general idea that yeah, once a long time ago, this area was considered pretty racist. but that recent? and such unanimity in response?! again, i had no idea.

but i do appreciate my man even more … not knowing or “getting” the reality experienced by many here, and having never heard my hubby complain or whine about the racial realities. we certainly discuss them, and increasingly in recent years as doors would be inexplicably closed, particularly re: his business ventures, where no explanation made any senses. well, only one.

i do feel encouraged and inspired, thankful for the pieces of insight and experience that are shaping and growing me; thankful for the vision of the man that i married and most of all, thankful for the way that GOD is blessing our family in sweet abundance.

{not my fave pic but the only one of us at the event}

but recently i’ve been adding the “secret ingredient” and the bread consistently is tasting great. even maddie complimented it this morning!

the new essential ingredient is coconut milk.  full fat, canned thai kitchen coconut milk. it seems to add the moisture and a bit of sweetness that ends up delish.

today’s creation was my new favorite:

in one bowl i mixed about a cup of bob’s red mill gluten-free baking mix with a few spoonfuls of xanthum gum, some cinnamon, nutmeg and sucanat.

in a measuring cup, i melted 6 frozen cubes (yep, “baby food”!) of a sweet potato/apple mix. i added some coconut oil, some olive oil (maybe 1/3 c of oil total), and maybe 1/4 c of honey.

i folded these both together; the final batter was pretty wet but not just drippy runny.

i baked at 350 for about 30 minutes.

delish.

{i am laughingly reading this after posting and realize that i forgot to include the main ingredient above: coconut milk! hee hee. i added about 1/2 can in to the liquid ingredients.}

but honestly, the salad that i made for lunch today just tasted so incredibly good; i think i might have purred when i ate it. *wink*

super simple, nourishing and filling …

black bean garden salad

in a bowl i placed the following ingredients:

fresh spinach leaves

chopped red cabbage

cherry tomatoes, halved

shredded carrots

handful of whole cooked black beans

chopped avocado

crumbled feta cheese

i made a balsamic vinaigrette for the dressing and poured over the top.

{1 part balsamic vinegar to 3 parts olive oil; dash of soy sauce, garlic salt, real salt; squirt of dijon mustard and spoonful of honey – then shake!}

really, this absolutely hit the spot. crunchy, savory, sweet, filling and delish.

and for sure i prefer giving the good feedback … the compliments for great service! but recently i felt prompted to go online and submit a feedback form about service we received (or didn’t!) at a local sort-of-healthy “fast food” place.  we pulled up a few weeks ago and saw a huge banner, advertising a fabulous special. when we placed our order (for said special) the guy told us the special ended the previous day, they just hadn’t taken the banner down. sorry. um, excuse me?! so anyhoo, we ordered something else but later that day (before i forgot) i submitted the online feedback form, sharing our experience.

today i got a voice mail from the manager of that local restaurant, apologizing and saying he told his staff that they need to honor advertised specials. further, he had mailed us freebies. cool beans!

on a brighter note, i was at my regular local grocery store today with little man in the bjorn. i don’t like this store but the deals and whole food options can’t be beat. it’s a bag-your-own-groceries store – super fun with a baby on your chest. lol. so today, the cashier rang me up then HELPED ME BAG MY GROCERIES! how totally cool is that!? on my way out, i went straight over to the manager and raved about his fabulous employee. it felt good to pass along the compliment for her lovely kindness.

this age is so fun, each day bringing new developments and cause for joy and laughter! what a gift he is … truly, a “happy baby” in every sense of the word. happy and delicious!! hee hee

some highlights these days:

:: his goal in life is to pull himself up. that is pretty much what he does 24-7; his favorite thing to do. unfortunately, we have a wicker chest that sits in the center of our main room, and he’s constantly pulling up on that … and chewing it. time to move it, i’m afraid.  he loves the kitchen chairs, too.

:: as of 12/28, he officially “crawls”! he still prefers his “inchworm” flop and it’s definitely his mode of transport when his goal is speed. but the real deal crawl is so stinkin cute.

:: he learned to clap and totally cracks himself up, lost in his own little happy world, clapping away.

:: he is “saying” all kinds of things, and making so many funny sounds with his mouth, like he’s experimenting with how to fully use his lips, tongue, voice. still a lot of “thdadada”.

:: he is never still. i remember being able to put maddie on the floor, sitting happily surrounded by toys, and she’d just stay there and play. he stays nowhere longer than 3 seconds; he is perpetually moving and exploring.

:: speaking of exploring: he prefers non-toy objects! ie, an empty water bottle provides endless fun as he bats it, crawls after it, pounds it, uses it to hit the floor, etc etc. hee hee.  he did get some fun ball toys for christmas and loves those.

:: he is eating a lot, and loving food. he is still pretty much doing 3 meals/day … still mostly pureed (chunky) food that i’ve either made and frozen, or sometimes from a jar. an example of a recent favorite meal of his: i had made a pot roast w/sweet potatoes and carrots in the pot. when it was cooked, i pureed the carrots and potatoes in the broth, added cooked brown rice and a hunk of avocado, mixed it all up and boom, he was *thrilled*! he loves savory flavors.

:: no doubt about it, he still loves the “cafeteria” (as hubby calls nursing). he is more distracted at times, and only wants a little snack before real meals, but some feedings he just fully fills up. still nursing morning, noonish, afternoon, evening (and night).

:: as i type this, he is in his playpen and (thankfully) enjoys spending some chunks of time in there. awesome! he also is liking the jumperoo more, and continues to love his exersaucer.

:: he loves water, and whenever he hears it (this boy has got amplified hearing, i think) he immediately (obsessively!?) looks for it. he’s got to see where it’s coming from and what it’s doing: toilet flushing, washing machine, kitchen sink, you name it.

:: and the kitchen sink is where he is still taking his nightly baths, and loving it.

:: his skin had improved dramatically for a few weeks, which was awesome!! the past week, something has triggered a flare-up of little bumps, which then become dry patches that then become soft again. it is so difficult to determine the cause of flare-ups; was it the new food? the edge of the playpen which seemed to create a rash on his cheeks (which i then cleaned crazy well). anyhoo. it’s hard.

:: and not to continue on this negative note,  but his nighttime sleeping has gotten progressively and continually worse. daytime is great: he pretty consistently naps around 10am and then again around 2pm, both for about 45 minutes (although last week he napped for 1 hour, 45 min for both naps! wahooo). nighttimes are the epitome of ingrained bad habits (just call me “sleep prop”) plus physical discomfort (his skin) = insanity for this mama. enough said.

:: one last cool nugget: his sister has this little thing she does with him. she says, ‘i’m gonna get you! i’m gonna get you!’ from far away, when i’m holding him, and then she runs in approach. he *loves* it, giggles hysterically and burrows in to me, laughing.

:: that sister? she is amazing. i couldn’t do this without her; she is hands-on help, anticipating what i might need, always wanting to hold or entertain or care for her brother. what a blessing!!

a few pics on the monthly-picture-blanket …

rollin, rollin!

our long boy is finally still

hmm, this brush is yummy!

and finally, dancing with daddy after church …

ok, just a few more (wink, wink) … and these are all still from hubby’s cell phone camera, since our “real” camera is in philadelphia!

i LOVE this! i returned home from a walk to find this greeting at the front door

mama-turning-while-driving-for-irresistible-pic

as a mama, some things come very natural for me … nurturing, tending to soul and heart issues, cultivating love and relationship. these things flow.

but i am not so strong and “natural” in areas of training toward character … a fine line difference but one that hubby and i clarified in one of those intense and productive and heartfelt convo’s recently.

so, we are pressing in, uniting as “team green” and implementing some real changes and strategies on the home front.

discipline of kiddos takes discipline for this mama … hard at times in the short-term, but essential in the long-term.

another area of short-term effort for long-term gain is exercise. i have been in reactive mode with my exercise; doing it when i can, some days.  reflecting on this, i know for sure that when i am proactive about executing an exercise plan, i feel SO much better … physically and mentally. it’s essential. and during this season of continued sleeplessness, baby care and homeschooling … it is hard. but i know that i know that i must.

so i will.

another area that is begging for short-term discipline for long-term gain is in stewarding the nutrition and health of my family. the decisions around what we eat as a family are primarily made by me – big burden and excellent opportunity. a few goals have crystallized (and i’ve put them on a note in my kitchen window): “strengthen immunity: reduce sugar, clo, probiotics”. these things have risen recently to mind in my reading and research and will be areas of implementation around here.

i’d love to hear the stirrings you are having these days … areas of resolve, focus, implementation.

this makes me grin! i went for a walk while J was napping and returned to find this

christmas eve is always spent at my grandparents … the epitome of cozy, warm, family love. we eat – a lot! – and do a white elephant-style gift exchange, usually full of mega laughter.

my darling fashionista

grammy enjoying some cuddles with little J

christmas morning mom always has us over for breakfast … this year we didn’t go serve lunch at st vincent de paul as usual since i wasn’t feeling excited about taking little man with us – haha. so, we had a long and leisurely day at my mom’s house, then in the evening me, mom and maddie went to a movie (hubby and J stayed behind happily to watch football!)

josiah loved watching the cat! and how gorgeous is the sunshine streaming in?!

ok, now a few from last night … at walmart! i know, totally weird but here’s what i love about these pics: hubby was pushing J in the cart and every time i looked back, he was taking another pic of our little man. honestly, we are all completely crazy in love with this little guy and even daddy can’t resist endless picture-taking! hee hee

this one cracks me up - our sleepy guy and me and my girl charging ahead!

xoxo

my thoughts and convictions are likely very unpopular for some, and certainly counter-cultural. it flies in the face of the messages we are bombarded with as wives: prioritize yourself, you “deserve” XYZ, you should demand to be treated a certain way regardless, all work and roles should be split 50-50,  etc etc.

{and by the way, this was my paradigm for many years – i endorsed the ‘egalitarian’ relationship model.}

let me preface also by saying that my hubby is truly an incredible man and undeniably my dream guy … has always been, and continues to be. but, he’s not perfect. and he can’t do and be and say all that i want and need, all the time.

so here’s where my mind and heart have been camping these days:

instead of complaining to my husband about what he isn’t doing or saying or being, how about i spend that same energy focusing on what i can do and be and say?

it is totally simplistic and something i can explain and talk about and YET, the application is where it is honestly hard.

am i the only one who has those sour moments where my mind is meditating on how he isn’t doing/being/saying what i need in that moment? where i get just stuck in that negative, complaining mental space?

and by the way, the things i am rehearsing and focusing on in my mind during those moments – those things are likely “justifiable” desires; things that i could look and compare that mr. smith does for his wife, etc. noble, good, Godly things.

and yet …

i am not called to complain. i am not my hubby’s change agent.

what if, for instance,  instead of complaining that he isn’t giving me the attention i crave, i instead worked on becoming the wife he is drawn to attend to?

because honestly, does complaining or being negative or resentful accomplish our goal (of attention and intimacy) anyway??

telling my man, ‘you aren’t being romantic’ does not engender in him romantic feelings … lol. right?!

i know this is uncomfortable and sensitive … and again, super counter-cultural.

what if i spoke words of life and uplift and respect; what if i devoted myself to the building up of this man?

and what if i used the opportunity to really press in to my LORD as my need-meeter, during those difficult moments?

i have some personal goals for this coming month in this area … knowing i will stumble but eager to step in and step up, being stretched and grown as a Christ-follower and wife.

“be devoted to one another in brotherly love. honor one another above yourselves.” romans 12:10