friendships among women

February 26, 2010

the friendships that i share with the women in my life are indescribably valuable. we share vulnerably, honestly and regularly.  very few things are more refreshing and life-giving to me than relationship, and within the realm of relationship, there is something unique about friendships between women.

i was struck today, in conversation with a dear friend, when it occurred to me that in the past week, i’ve had three different women share with me about their specific “circle” of friends. it has made me think that maybe as women, we are curious about the friendships other women have. how many women are you really close to? of those, how often do you communicate/spend time together? how deep do you go,and with whom? we wonder about these things, i think, because we are relational at heart.

i am fueled and refreshed by time spent with my friends! GOD has blessed me with some of the most beautiful, brilliant, thoughful, faithful friends. and i am learning to appreciate season’s of friendship; when the level of intimacy/connection may change and that may be ok! there was a time i had more difficulty accepting the changes within friendship; i thought i needed a deep, regular friend to always hold that “place” but GOD has seen fit to allow some precious women to stay close, while friendships with others have gone through times of great connection/frequency/contact, and then less. and when it was “less”, i would struggle with unmet expectations, much like we can experience with our husbands. interesting! “love without expectation” became my goal and priority.

before i moved back to oregon years ago, i had a group (“my girls”) who had been there through college and beyond (some very crazy and wild years) and leaving them was so difficult. i experienced an “aloneness” and lack of close, female friends … and i prayed that in time, GOD would change that. my husband reminds me of that season (of loneliness) today as i feel abundantly surrounded by extraordinary friends! thank you, LORD.

i am learning more each day about unconditionally loving; embracing the beautiful differences among the women in my life; celebrating joys and praying through hardships.  i really think that friendships between women can be a place of great refinement, sacrifice, tenderness and growth. especially when we take the risk and go deep.

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3 Responses to “friendships among women”

  1. Meredith Says:

    I used to struggle with some of what you’re talking about…I’d get so frustrated that I only had a few friends that I felt I could have deep and meaningful conversations with, while the rest were more “superficial” friends. But I think I’ve come to realize that (a) it’s a BLESSING to have friends that I can go deep with, even if those are small in number and (b) even the people who I’m friends with on a more superficial level have a place in my life and my heart. Looking back, they all seemed to have come into my life exactly when they were needed!

  2. Jessica A. Says:

    Sweet Friend of mine….you have stated this truth very well. God teaches us so much about loving Him and being loved by Him through our intimate relationships. As we get older and gain maturity we also see that we go through seasons with our friends…sometimes with lots of contact and sometimes with great spaces between contact, but the truth is that a TRUE friend, especially a Godly friend is connected at the heart no matter how often you talk. And….God brings the spiritual gifts of our friends at the times we need them the most. Hands and Feet sister! I went through a similar time when I first moved to the Rogue Valley and boy has God blessed me with friends now! But I did travel in the wilderness for a time wondering what was going on. God is Sovereign and Faithful!

  3. home2learn Says:

    jess, what a great point about the spiritual gifts of our friends blessing us at just the right time – so true! you have been such a blessing to me in so many ways. hugs! =)


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