pleasure focus

August 6, 2010

i’ve been grappling with my daughter’s focus on “what is fun for me today?” lately. it’s been a source of discussion and brainstorming with my hubby (we’ve done some “visioning” around our goals for our daughter and then steps to implement in that direction). i’ve talked with other mama’s about this lately, too.

i just came across a fabulous article in a magazine that i’ve had for a couple years – amazing how we can reread something that now applies and speaks to us.

the article is entitled, “beating the summer boredom bug” and the author  (cindy puhek,www.HSEBlogs.com/cindy) discusses the “thrill-a-minute mentality of our society that is enjoying people’s capability to enjoy simplicity.” wow.  she shares her training with her children around the scripture, psalm 90:12: a wise man asks God to number his days.  our time here is precious; can we work to cultivate our children’s focus toward “who can i serve today?”, or “what good works does GOD have for me to accomplish today?”  how can we invest our time wisely, in things that have eternal value?

i was totally challenged by the following questions that she asks, when considering an activity for her children: “is this activity the best investment of our God-given time?” even if the activities are “worthwhile”, do our children need to be constantly involved in something?!

i was just talking with a friend yesterday about our society’s value on being busy; on having our kids in a maximum number of extracurricular activities. a full calendar = success and prosperity, right?!

and my absolute FAVORITE question posed in this article:

“what appetite will this activity build in my child?”

((and my daughter’s expectation of fun activities each day … that is something that i’ve cultivated, clearly. it is uncomfortable and humbling to realize that the thing i want to correct in my daughter is the thing that i have been instilling. =( this parenting is such hard work … ))

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3 Responses to “pleasure focus”

  1. Jessica Averill Says:

    That is so strange because John and I were having a similar conversation just last week. Very good word my sweet friend! Thanks!

  2. home2learn Says:

    jess, i am finding that the more that we share with each other, vulnerably and with honesty, the more we find that we are often facing similar issues and challenges. i thought of this last week as at least 3 dear friends shared almost-identical marital issues … we are so much more alike than different!

  3. Jessica Averill Says:

    Yes Emily, I totally agree! Parenting is a difficult process and knowing what is best is not always an easy thing to discern. And when we find that we may be instilling the very character traits that we dislike it is a hard pill to swallow, but that is what life is all about….learning on the go. I believe that it is good for our kids to see that if we find that we’ve been making a mistake, we take immediate action to correct it.

    This is why your vulnerable blog is such a blessing! You are voicing what many mothers struggle with and in finding that we are not alone, it gives us strength.


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