unless you’re IN something, it’s hard to know …

September 27, 2010

i have been grappling again with worry and fear about this baby; an area that i really saw victory over many weeks ago and am frustrated to be dealing with it again. and so, again i face the decision: faith or fear. i must choose faith.

in the midst of grappling with the issues prompting the fear, i have experienced the love of friends that is so impactful.  the love that looks like responding to the anxious text with encouragement, a word of scripture, some research and information, prayer.

and it occurred to me: how many times have i been on that end, receiving the desperate cry for help and not “GETTING’ the enormity of the stress and burden for that person?? yesterday, we were driving home from the beach on this gorgeous day … i am sunk in my worry/fear and realized: wow, other people are having a normal sunday right now. they are hanging with their family, doing their normal sunday stuff, and even still .. they are responding and reaching out to me.

LORD, let me respond as you would when i am on the end that is receiving the call: let me care DEEPLY and know that this thing, whatever it is and however “big’ it may seem to me, is BIG to my sister.


2 Responses to “unless you’re IN something, it’s hard to know …”

  1. liz Says:

    I don’t know how helpful this is, but something that I do when I have fears is play them out in my mind — what would really happen if the fear came to pass? And having been in your exact position (fearing miscarriage) my thought process had to be, if I miscarry I will be disappointed and sad, and we will mourn. But my life will still be good and I am and will be surrounded by love. It helps me to make peace with the possibility. Of course the underlying fear doesn’t leave until a baby is in your arms 🙂 Then you just have to worry about raising them and keeping them safe — no worries there, right? Someone once told me there’s a psychology to fear that goes something like this…we think on some subconscious level that worrying about something will make it less likely — like when we tell our kids to be careful. Does it make a difference? Of course not, but we feel like it’s our job and that it will somehow make a difference. I will pray that your burden of fear may be lighter, so that your life can proceed in the meantime. Glad you have a great support system.

  2. home2learn Says:

    i love what you’ve shared. thank you for the incredible encouragement! i agree … walking the fear all the way through can be a helpful process. good reminder.
    hugs to you in chile!

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