will i choose to remember, or to worry?

February 10, 2011

we received some sobering financial news today.

(what is it about money issues that can trigger such an immediate sinking of the mood??)

after the initial information was received (right when i woke up), then making some phone calls and feeling that “spin” of stress … i just cried. i cried out to the LORD, desperate, pleading … why? and, HELP!

and as i cried, in my spirit came this question: will i remember, or will i worry?

if i choose to remember, i will be flooded with specific instances of miraculous provision. specific, timely, exact, stunning. in the time since we left the “security” of our paying jobs, and embarked on this radical journey of living in faith, GOD has supplied our every need, and often in ways that left us just overwhelmed.

we know that we are walking in obedience to His direction regarding matters of work and business, and as i thought about that, i rested in knowing that we are doing all that we can, and He will provide. (sometimes i feel like i need to do more, generate, and figure things out. but i know that the time for that is not now; being full of this growing child, needing to still myself more as life’s busyness swirls temptingly around me).

i am reminded of our reading in exodus this week. how many times have i heard and read about moses, about the pharaoh, the plagues in egypt, etc?  and yet this week, i was struck by something i’d never caught before: pharaoh wasn’t stubborn and hard-hearted, just because.

several times, the LORD says that HE (YHWH) hardened pharaoh’s heart, for this reason: that He “may perform these miraculous signs of mine among them that you may tell your children and grandchildren … how I performed my signs among them, that you may know that I am the LORD.” (ex 10:2).

so that i may tell … that i may remember, and share testimony about HIS miraculous signs and wonders.  may it be so, today.

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One Response to “will i choose to remember, or to worry?”

  1. jaw123456 Says:

    Emily, I am agreeing with you in prayer. His provision is perfect and although sometimes we feel things become more intense as we wait and wonder, we know that He always meets our needs. looking forward to hearing the testimony!


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