April 15, 2011

we are certainly in a time of transition … change abounds!

josiah is 13 days old – time already seems to be flying as i watch my precious boy growing and changing. i am still healing and giving myself much space and time to recover from surgery and adjust to caring for a newborn. i am sleeping a few hours here and there; nighttimes are still pretty delirious as he is most content cuddled with us (and i love having him close!) but it makes for lots of tossing and turning; for feedings that drift into sleep. on the other hand, getting up and feeding him in his room, in the glider chair, feels more ‘organized’ but makes for a night of almost constant wake-ness and then when i swaddle him in his bassinet, he sleeps just a short while before waking and prefering to be with/on mama once again!

no complaints … i know that things will settle. a rhythm will come. i will feel more clear-headed and rested and able to write my thoughts more cogently. =) i do feel that disconnect from the land of “normal”; people going about the daily-ness of their lives and i am here, inside, cuddling my angel baby. it’s been such a departure from how active and on the go we normally are, and i think it’s a good thing, it’s just different.

this has been a period change and transition for madison, as well. my wise hubby has begun the process of shifting her paradigm: from one that sees herself as the recipient and focus of mama’s service, to being the servant. more specifically, to being mama’s “handmaiden.” =) he and madison have been spoiling me abundantly and it’s been such a blessing. she has assumed new household responsibilities (ie, completely cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom) as he has patiently, methodically, carefully instructed her.

there certainly has been push-back, and it’s a challenge for me to keep focused on the bigger picture of her training, despite complaint and tears.  i know as a mama that hardship and challenge and disappointment and hard work are essential for the development of the character of my children. and yet, it can be hard to witness, right? just being honest. i am so thankful for my hubby; my partner and teammate … for honest and connected conversations about approaches and strategies, and for seeking to be on the same page.

i am going to steal away from this computer to catch a quick nap as my little josiah is sleeping happily … more soon! i am working on his birth story and hope to have the finished this weekend.


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