June 3, 2011

ever have those days when the tears seem just beneath the surface, and the right question will send them spilling out?

(( it’s been one of those weeks … ))

this morning, i did morning chores, served breakfast, and did routine things … keeping a smile, striving to beat back the funk and focus on doing the next thing.

after breakfast, i sat holding josiah at the table … drinking in his smiles and coos, enjoying the beauty of the sun peeking through the clouds outside.

my husband came over, standing close, smiling at our son and … watching me. i could feel his eyes.

and then it came.


his gentle voice called me to look up, to meet his eyes.  so i did.

and then he asked a probing, tender heart-question. and the tears came.

as we talked deeply, sharing our hearts and laying out the things we’d been carrying in our mind, madison walked in the room. she saw my tears and was troubled, anxious that her mama was upset.

“are you ok, mama? what’s wrong?”

my first instinct was to hide my face so she couldn’t see my tears, but instead i looked at her and assured her that i was fine. and good.

a few minutes later, she and i loaded josiah in the car and headed to the farmer’s market. she asked why i’d been crying.  it felt like one of those pivotal mama moments – so i jumped in, and decided to go forward with truth and teaching.

i opened by sharing how glad i was that we are all home together; that she gets to see a variety of things that happen in marriage. i explained that we were talking deeply and honestly, and that as a woman (and she can increasingly relate as a girl whose body is changing) sometimes we cry … and that those tears are okay, and an expression of our feelings.

i explained that we were learning how to love each other even better, to which she responded:

“you already love each other so much.”

good point, my girl! yes, we do. i clarified, saying that we continue to learn how to show our love to the other person; that through all of life, in marriage, we get to keep learning how to bless and serve our spouse.

i closed by saying that i am thankful,  that mike “cares about my tears” and that my hope for her is that her husband will care about hers, as well.


4 Responses to “vulnerability”

  1. liz Says:

    What a tender story. You must be so tired and I know for me nursing was hormonal/emotional always. I’m glad you have a kind husband and caring daughter to support you. What a great example for Maddie of loving relationships. Love this.

  2. What a wonderful post. Your experience and conversation with Maddie was so ‘real’. What a teaching and learning experience for you both.

    I think the way you explained and shared that with her was so good, it was true and a good example of grownup reality. Our kids need to know that life is not always ‘easy’, but that doesn’t mean it is not good. What a great example Emily.

    I know I can tend to want to hide my face and not explain, but I feel encouraged and inspired by your post to perhaps allow a little more vulnerability and use some of those moments to be teaching moments with my son. I don’t want him to have unrealistic expectations about life or marriage, and then for him to be terribly disappointed when those expectations are not met when he becomes a man.

    I think you did a wonderful job in how you handled that situation and I appreciate you sharing it!

  3. jaw123456 Says:

    Beautiful, touching and oh so real! What a wonderful time of teaching truth about emotions and feelings and how God made each of us. Thank you for sharing this post with us. Very well said.

  4. Life Says:

    Babies need truth… sometimes it takes time to find the specific facet of truth that they’re ready for at any given stage of development, but somewhere, one of the levels of truth is right for them. You found a beautiful one for Maddie in this conversation. Good, true foundations make strong buildings.

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