a few things ;)

July 14, 2012

i’ve been missing this space! i have had so many things on my mind and in my heart, and i “write” these entire blog posts out in my mind while rocking josiah or doing other household tasks … yet finding time to capture them in words here has not happened! oy.

may i share a few snippets of thoughts here?

:: i have been stirred and challenged lately by a dear friend’s words about pain – and how pain drives us to GOD.  doesn’t distress and pain and discomfort – physical, financial and otherwise – bring us desperate to HIS feet? seeking Him, meditating on His promises, spending time with Him and in His Word. *that* is the place i want to be. but may i be honest and say that i am feeling a bit done being in this season of financial insecurity? i want to “arrive” at the place i see on the horizon, where there is steady income and where we aren’t living in this feast-or-famine space. i want ease – isn’t that the bottom line? although guaranteed in the life of a believer, i am not thrilled with hardship and challenge.

and here is what i know and has been an epiphany for me this week: when we do arrive, we MUST remember. we cannot turn our backs like the israelites and revert to a place of taking for granted, and sin and corruption … a place distant from Him, because we are doing “fine” on our own. so i want to incorporate disciplines and habits now that will remain steady and keep my heart HIS no matter how the tides of finances (etc) may flow.

:: i shared that life was feeling crazy and busy and good and full … and that i was longing for some slowing. well, things did slow but not in the most desirable way. my sweet babies had a vaccination done this past week and my girl had a scary reaction that is just now lifting. it confirmed my strong concerns about vaccinations and had my spirit in angst re: “relenting” on getting this one.

{ i know how heavy and difficult this vaccination issue is and truly honor every family’s individual path to making their decisions. for me, many hours of study and research and questions have resulted in deep concerns and more questions and an increasing understanding that it is faulty to trust blindly in those saying we “should” do certain things medically to our babies. there is too much at risk.}

:: so hooray, my girl is feeling better AND the days at home reminded me how important and good it is to be home. just be home. i tackled the laundry, deep cleaned in the kitchen, did some good meal planning, cleaned our bedroom, etc. granted, there were rides to/from theater practice but otherwise outings were minimal. and i found that i am able to focus much better on taking care of my primary work: homemaking – when i am HOME. ha!

:: along those lines, i faced a scenario recently where i was trying to decide whether to make an outing to a lake with a dear friend. as i thought through the outing, i could see only one thing: tremendous effort (aka, chasing josiah)! it just didn’t sound fun … being big and pregnant and hot while running after my little man. so we made other plans, which turned out great.

in talking with my hubby about this, i shared that during this season (with a little man and another baby coming) life and outings and recreational activities WILL look different, and that’s OK. one precious girlfriend encouraged me that i could and should do it (the lake outing), that having a toddler shouldn’t stop me. and while i hear her wisdom for sure and totally respect her parenting, i had a peace in my heart that while i *could* do it, i didn’t want to.

i’ve always tended toward outings and activities and experiences and time with friends and family. all GOOD. and yet i am increasingly realizing that the GOOD is not always the BEST. sure, all those fun things are great. but are they needed? and are they best?

:: i just got this book from amazon and am so excited about reading it:

“Sacred Influence” by gary thomas. (the subtitle: how GOD uses wives to shape the souls of their husbands). anyone read it? he is one of my favorite authors and his book, “Sacred Marriage” is one of our all-time most fundamentally amazing books for marriage. yay!

:: and on a totally light note: i finally got nutritional yeast (aka brewers yeast). i have read many recommendations for adding this nutritional powerhouse to josiah’s food and it’s been on my (long) list of: gotta try this!  some dear girlfriends added this to popcorn and it was delightful. anyone tried it?

:: and oh my word, i am 29 weeks pregnant! SO close. crazy close. this pregnancy is completely flying by. i have had moments of total excitement this week … i saw a newborn at the store and it hit me: that will be us, soon! and i am SO excited. i feel like he is so big, and i’ve been feeling those wild (sometimes breathtaking, literally) movements this week … seeing my tummy move and roll, feeling hiccups and “jumps” and big wiggles. it’s so amazing, this miracle of carrying and growing a life! thank GOD.


One Response to “a few things ;)”

  1. 1- I LOVE brewer’s yeast on popcorn. I haven’t had it in years, but used to love that the Varsity had a shaker of it to use on popcorn!

    2- Seriously–my sweet niece being born has kind of been a “woah” wake-up in terms of how relatively soon there’s going to be a little one headed my way as well!

    3-I FEEL you on the first point re:money. Justin’s next prevailing wage job will *hopefully* be starting soon, and we are continually discussing how we just absolutely must do a better job managing the extra income this time around.

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