32 weeks!

August 7, 2012

i cannot believe how close i am to having this baby!

reality has hit in the past week: i had josiah at 38 weeks … which is just SIX WEEKS away. oh my word! i have mixed feelings this time and it’s so different than my experience being pregnant with josiah: with him, i was sooo desperate to have him safely in the world and honestly (secretly) would have loved him to be born early … just to hold him in my arms and have the angst of worry and waiting through the pregnancy over. but this time is SO different! this time, i am thinking: let’s wait til at least 39 weeks, little man!!

and, am i ready for this!??! my mind can race with overwhelm as i think of the details, the logistics, the  adjustments. my mind is looking around this time, to our family and to my “baby” josiah … instead of just looking at and imagining this baby. i love the moments when it hits me in the most beautiful and amazing way: this GIFT is about to join our family!

maddie and i talked recently about waiting on GOD’s timing for some of the deepest desires of our hearts. we spoke of something else we’ve both been wanting, and i reminded her: how long did we pray for a baby! how desperate were we to grow our family! and now, we’ve been DOUBLY blessed! not one, but 2 gifts … such great love.

and so, i look ahead with intentional gratitude, determined not to be worried about details (primarily details of the care of my sweeties while i am in the stinking hospital for 3 days after having green bean. that is really weighing heavy – UGH).

as far as pregnancy stuff, i am feeling officially very “big” and like my insides are being totally pushed around and kicked and squished! he moves SO much … the wild, rolling, kicking, wiggling movements that are breath-taking and incredible.

i have occasional contractions – made worse by the recent coughing nightmare that continues to linger. coughing fits + pregnancy = super fun. ha.

i am HOT. like, always hot. “they” weren’t kidding when they said being pregnant in the heat of the summer blows. i am all about air conditioning, all the time!

i have a sweet girlfriend that felt my belly and baby and said he does feel big  … which i know we all think our babies are big but really, this little guy just feels big. like i said, i am HOPING i go to at least 39 weeks. especially since hubby just got booked to give a keynote speech at an event out of state that falls on the weekend of my 38th week – eeks!

i am starting to think about needing to get things ready, thanks to the gentle nudges of my mom with kind offers to come help me launder baby clothes, etc. i haven’t even thought of it yet but again, am realizing how soon he will be arriving. time to get serious and focused! i need to think about arrangements in josiah’s room, storage of baby clothes, sleeping/rocking, etc. i think i have it mostly figured out in my mind. we’ll see 🙂

here are a few pics …


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