meals, words, sleep and love

October 19, 2012

i’ve neglected this little space … want to share and post and yet feeling at a loss for words and certainly at a loss for anything of real substance. 🙂

so i figured i’ll share some odds and ends … highlights, low-lights (lol) and other miscellaneous happenings in the green household!

:: caleb spent his first 3 weeks either completely sacked out asleep, eating or pooping. seriously. very little awake time and totally content just HANGING out, most times in his bouncer seat (brilliantly placed within our pack-n-play in the living room, out of reach of josiah … i am so thankful for that suggestion, kelly!). hubby commented that josiah never spent that much time *not* being held … and it’s true. well, the tide has turned. ha. literally, at the 3 week mark, caleb is suddenly awake a LOT and wanting to be held, comforted, etc. which is FINE and i love holding that squishy little lovebug. but wow, those first 3 weeks had me thinking: this isn’t so hard!! really, i almost posted here about how truly *easy* it felt to have added this little addition to our family, and honestly i can still say that it isn’t the enormous, world-changing event that my mind can anticipate with anxiety that it would be. he is a very easy, yummy, happy baby. i am SO thankful for him. he folds right in to our family.

our family of 5!

what?! a dear friend reminded me how, not long ago, i used to say, “our little family” referring to me, hubby and our girl. how it’s changed! and i am so glad. my gosh, i love these boys.

:: josiah is completely blowing us away these days. his words and language!? crazy exploding. tonight he turned to hubby and said, “baby caleb’s crying” which was completely accurate. just this week he has mastered his full name: josiah michael green. his little accent and the flourish with which he says it is so totally delicious. he’s also got “jesus loves me” down and says that as well as many parts to the song as i sing it to him. today, madison handed him a fruit leather and clear as day he said, “thank you.” we just grinned! he is beyond  hilarious. precious and amazing.

:: i feel like i am inching slowly closer to normal … a new normal, for sure. the fog is lifting. our days are flowing with a new rhythm and expectations are being let go of, which is freeing. madison even shared with me today that she is not feeling that usual pressure of wanting to be “done” with her school day at a certain time. for a while she’d been so pressed to be done in order to play with her bosom buddies, that it hung over the day, adding angst and (unnecessary) pressure to her.

we are doing less – much less – as far as outside activities, commitments, outings. i am feeling an increasing sense that in order to create the home environment that i long to cultivate, to have unhurried moments with my babies, to cook and clean and care for our home … i must BE here. (what a novel idea! ha). over the years, we’ve been on the go less and less. i remember a time when both hubby and i were working full time, madison was in school and also a competitive gymnast; i would pick her up from school, have my one hour with her before dashing to her 3 hour gymnastics practice (during which i went to the gym and worked out – ah, the good ol days, lol) then hurried home to eat dinner before hurrying through homework and bedtime. our “free” night was spent at a women’s bible study that i participated in for five incredible years. (miss those women and that fellowship!).

i know fellowship and connection fuels and refreshes me, so i need to incorporate it to some degree. but i also am experiencing the goodness of saying no to “good” things, for this season. 

:: we just had the last of our meals delivered the other day and i can honestly say that having dinner brought to our family is one of the most humbling, amazing, concrete “love in action” things i have EVER experienced. it is just SUCH an incredible blessing. we were blown away – again – by the outpouring of generosity and thoughtfulness shown to our family in the way of delicious meals. it truly does speak love in such a loud and clear way … and what a treat! to not think of meal planning for almost 3 weeks – the *best*! as my grandma said, it’s not just the cooking of the meals but the planning, shopping and everything else that goes in to getting our families fed each day. to have that entire burden eliminated for the 3 weeks following caleb’s birth was unspeakably incredible. i am so thankful.

it was a bittersweet experience, hitting our local grocery store yesterday – back to reality! i had spent some time that morning planning meals out for the week – something i find essential – and was able to successfully do a “big shop” thanks entirely to having madison there. i couldn’t have done it without her! i carried caleb in the moby which worked great except was limiting in being able to bag the oranges, for instance … or load food on the conveyer belt or bag everything up. she did it all plus push josiah in the cart. phew!

:: finally, sleep. it’s been pretty wild on that front. honestly, josiah is the deal-breaker; caleb is still cuddled very happily next to mama (where he sleeps best) and wakes every few hours to nurse and falls right back to sleep. it’s our josiah, who about every third night wakes and spends a couple HOURS awake, incorrigible, hungry, and energetic. hubby and i were possibly losing our minds around 4am today … it was just insane. which adds to my angst to begin sleep training soon with sweet caleb, before habits are formed that are hard to break. which brings me to the fact that at over 3 weeks old, he is still not on a good schedule re: eating/wake time/sleep. it was about this time with josiah that i was tired of feeling like i nursed every 14 minutes (!) and moved toward a 3 hour cycle. he quickly shifted and for several months, we were on a fabulous schedule.  i have been trying with caleb but he falls in to a milk coma, seriously, after maybe 10 minutes of nursing and no amount of stimulation will wake him to finish feeding. consequently, he is wanting to eat at all different intervals: sometimes 1.5 hours apart, sometimes 3. so, i will continue working on this and moving him to the bassinet.

i’ll wrap with a picture i took the other day after my dear girlfriend in southern cali (jaina!!) had texted, asking what i was doing. at that moment, i was holding a fussy caleb and feeding josiah.



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