i have a choice

March 4, 2013

my hubby is gone on a long business trip – already 5 days and a few more to go.

i made a decision when he left this time: i will *not* add to his burden while he’s away, but will instead choose to help and encourage and uplift even from afar.

it can be so tempting to vent and share issues and annoyances and problems on the home front … and yet, i am so thankful for this deep sense of awareness that i have for the important work that my husband has before him, and the need for him to be able to fully concentrate on what he needs to do {no small feat: two days of speaking at a regional conference on economic development in mississippi; followed by organizing and moderating his own panel at SxSW – with one speaker cancelling less than 24 hours before the panel; and finally, creating – organizing -engineering a national summit in austin that 150 key stakeholders will attend with the focus on saving america’s black boys}.  GOD has given an incredible vision to my man and he is tirelessly pouring his heart and mind in to faithfully carrying it out.

and so the choice is mine: do i whine about the logistical dilemmas i face here? because they are real (the dilemmas) and i *do need help and yes caring for these two babies under two on my own (maddie’s been gone a lot for rehearsals) has been insane at times!

but here’s what i know: there is nothing he can do, really. and i can manage this. really, besides for some crazy wild chaotic moments (read: josiah waking screaming at midnight, consoling him while hearing baby caleb wake screaming in the other room to nurse) … things are fine. good, even.

take right now, for instance: both boys are napping (!!), maddie is at her CC seminars all day, and i have this time to write, read, drink my yummy coffee, and see the sun shining through the windows. i don’t have to rush anywhere. i don’t have to get dressed fancy. i can just be here, home … and grateful.

and when my man and i talk or text? i can love him up, speaking life and sharing the good reports from home that are spirit-lifters for him. i can send fun pictures, silly things the kids say, that bring him a smile.


speaking of pictures that make him smile ... here is Siah, kissing his beloved great grandpa (papa).

speaking of pictures that make him smile … here is Siah, kissing his beloved great grandpa (papa).


2 Responses to “i have a choice”

  1. jani Says:

    You’re doing the right thing! 🙂 I know it’s hard, but it could be worse and it’s always good to think of the things you are grateful for.

    We called our Josiah ‘Siah also! 🙂

  2. Leaves Heal Says:

    “…and safety returned to the kingdom, and peace returned to the castle…”
    Lovely queen 🙂

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