April 4, 2015
thinking this week about how friendship – deep, raw, vulnerable, pressing in friendship – can be a tool of refining … similar to parenting and marriage.
these 3 (friendship, parenting & marriage) reveal our weakness and sin; we are exposed. i am called to face and deal with the crap that rises up in me. i’ve long thought this about parenting and marriage – seen the beauty in these holy paths.
and this week, while working through my own emotions that came from an uncomfortable kind of hurtful friendship situation – i am digging deep here. seeing my reactions and questioning them – is it ok, is it *best, is it GOD’s best – that i choose to cater to my feelings? choose to give voice to the feelings that aren’t edifying, self sacrificing, gracious? because i can justify feeling hurt, or left out, or any other human feeling that comes in my heart … but what do i *DO with that?
really do?? and especially, what do i *not do or say?
because the GOD i follow is pretty clear on how He wants me to live and love. He extends grace, and He calls me to surrender my pride and seek His strength to pursue unity and forgiveness and patience and grace.
it’s my choice. and as i wrestled with the human flesh feelings and thankfully got to process them with my beloved, we walked through my choices and their outcomes and the best choice became obvious:
show grace. love well. do not marinate in hurt feelings – there is no good that comes from that! assume the best. and above all, put on love.
i’ve been thinking about how much easier friendship can be when people are kept at arms length – less expectation, so less room for hurt. and how little hurts can – based on the choice of the one feeling the hurt – be used to create distance. our pride erects walls and we push back. push away.
oh, it’s been so good to face some of my reactions and shortcomings this week. uncomfortable but valuable and i’ve been thanking GOD that He has given me the sweet gift of true friendship – refining me and growing me through sharing lives with amazing women. it feels good to push past sin and choose the freedom of God’s very best.