surgery decisions

June 26, 2016

very few steps of this journey have come easy. from the very beginning, when i pressed and questioned doctors and sought second opinions and then had to make the gut-wrenching decision between 2 different chemotherapy protocols … i have found myself digging and grappling and researching and questioning and often being *that patient.

i believe GOD has good purposes for the struggle; so much is revealed when we press in, although the in between moments are so seriously hard. but the depth of my understanding of the many facets of this journey, the extraordinary healing tools that i’ve learned and applied … much has come from the pressing in. (and also maybe slightly due to my obsession with reading and research and the 20+ books i’ve inhaled, lol).

i find myself here again as i walk toward this next step: surgery. once again, i have 2 dramatically opposing recommendations (local surgeon/local oncologist vs. best breast surgeon in the country @ucsf/integrated oncologist). this weekend, this moment, i sit in waiting, my mind racing with ideas and questions and strategy as i prepare for my upcoming conversation with the local surgeon, hopefully monday. (he’s been out of town this past week which has felt like added stress since there is an oft-cited timeframe of 4-6 weeks for when surgery should happen after the completion of chemo – it’s been 5 1/2 weeks today).

i am not sure how these next steps will play out, but i am believing that through the angst and prayer and grappling and seeking … the plan will again come together.



2 Responses to “surgery decisions”

  1. Leaves Heal Says:

    Be who you are designed to be.
    Proud of you.

  2. Stacy Says:

    You were in a dream I had last night. The kids and I were walking down a hill to meet you at a park–(I was so excited to meet you!)– and there you sat, reading, with your boys nearby you, playing. I had thought to go hug you and see your dear bald head, but your hair was shoulder-length and so full and this beautiful ginger/strawberry blonde color (!)– and you were just such a lovely, healthy sight sitting there. That’s all. Nothing profound, just a sweet dream. Of course then you were on my heart so I prayed for you. Thank you for posting here. I will be praying that God will bring sweet clarity and certainty to you, my friend. And peace over your decision.
    Love to you,

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