three years ago

February 11, 2013

i started sharing my thoughts and my life in this little space.

i am so glad that i did! i love having a place that holds our story, our pictures, our life … so much that i would have forgotten had i not put the words here. so, i am thankful for the sweet friends who encouraged me to start sharing  …

here is my very first post, which makes me smile.

i think about how, just a few days ago (and before reading this original post again) i whispered to my husband, “can i please get dressed and go to a job?? because that would be so much easier.” it had been a particularly grueling day here, schooling with bad attitudes (teacher and student, lol), relentless toddler and baby needs, unending chores. and a serious case of mama-grumpy.

so yes, as i shared those years ago, going to a job does represent a grand distraction from the difficult and monotonous and glorious work of raising  these kids and keeping bellies full and clothes clean and routines steady.

it does amaze me to realize that in the three short years of this blog, i have birthed TWO boys! the desire of my heart, more babies … and GOD has blessed us with two. miracles!

speaking of those miracle blessings …



watching dora

watching dora2


38 weeks

September 18, 2012

today, 38 weeks! incredible.

i am breathing a deep sigh of relief after having my hubby gone on a business trip all weekend and literally feeling overwhelmed with unexpected uneasiness about going in to labor with him gone. but he’s back, so it’s on!! hee hee.  i think my uneasiness skyrocketed when i realized that my water had broken on a saturday morning, at 38 weeks, with josiah. it is crazy wild right now, living life carrying this sense that: it could be right *now!* my water broke with both my babies, both times between 5-6am, so i’m curious to see if the same thing happens this time.

really, i am ready. logistically, things are in place. and (as much as is possible in the big surreal-ness of anticipating a new life being born), my mind and heart are ready to meet this new precious son … our caleb michael.

my body hurts! i don’t remember being this uncomfortable with josiah … but literally standing, laying, turning over in bed (OUCH!), and various other movements just ache and often create crazy sharp “ouch” out loud pain. but, it’s definitely the home stretch. one week from today, GOD willing, he will be born.


here are a few pics from today …

so big!


September 3, 2012

3 weeks from today our little man will arrive! *UNBELIEVABLE*.

i am feeling good about having made incremental steps of preparation in the past few weeks … for instance, my toiletry bag for the hospital is totally packed! this is an improvement from last time, where my water broke @ 38 weeks with josiah and i lay in bed, hollering hysterically at mike which things to grab in the bathroom to pack in the (unpacked) hospital bag! i also have my nursing jammies, robe, and socks in the bag … just need to put in some flip flops and a few swaddling blankets for baby. go, em. haa (my inspiration comes from my friend ernestine who had her bag packed by the door by – i think? – 35 weeks. amazing!)

a couple weekends ago we did a major clean out of josiah’s room, bringing in all the new baby stuff. since then, i’ve switched dressers and moved josiah’s clothes in to a darling dresser hand painted by my sweet friend, kelly.

i washed and put all the 0-3 months baby clothes in this dresser,

this is just 0-3 months! amazing! bags of 3-6, and 6-12 mo in the closet!

i have to say that this dresser/changing table has been the SINGLE most valuable and essential baby item, EVER. we still change josiah here. it’s just so convenient, so comfortable, so totally functional. it’s a regular dresser w/the changing cushion attached to the top – no need for a separate, special “changing table”.  i keep diapers, wipes, lotions and other sundries in the basket.

little man, crouching and escaping!

besides the practical preparations, there are the ones that keep me up at 4am (or is that my little man who was a waking-up stinker last night?!): the details and logistics of care for josiah, especially, for those days i am in the hospital … creating lists and writing up a “typical day” for him, and firming up plans with all my dear friends and family who will be helping to care for my sweeties.

and then there are the thoughts about the surgery itself, and all that involves. it is scary and definitely unsettling .. the actual surgery and the recovery. my first night in the hospital was intense and painful and so i’ve talked already with my dr re: changes to pain meds, etc. i cannot fathom not having my hubby there with me at night, especially. his presence was just crucial … i needed him so desperately. and he was so amazing and gentle and close.

tomorrow morning we have an ultrasound and i cannot wait to peek in and see our little green bean, and how he’s grown.

three weeks!!

no, the 2 aren’t related! 🙂 but boy howdy, did i have some mega contractions the other night. it was the first time that i had that thought of OH MY, this *could* be it. like, for real. i was really uncomfortable, but after lots of water, a warm bath and trying to rest … things improved. and then the next day (yesterday) his movement was SO big, so intense and (i hate to sound complaining) but just honestly painful at times. hubby was watching my belly from across the room, for like over an hour … felt like my insides were being pounded, my groin was being stomped, my lungs were being squished. and today, even as i write this, i’m having moments where i catch my breath the movement is that pronounced and uncomfortable.

again, i wonder … will we make it to sept 24?! i really really want to AND am wrapping my mind around the fact that i’m just not gonna be that comfortable for the next month. period. and in the scheme of things, that’s fine! ;0)

{ hubby looked up at me this morning and said the most precious thing … “how will we love this new baby as much as we love josiah?!” i loved his honesty and expression of the thing that i think so many parents grapple with, of course coming to the same conclusion of utter and total love for the new baby once it arrives. but still!}

in other news …

nettles tea!

my dear friend shawnna introduced us to this some time ago, and i go in spurts of making it. i’m back at it again this week, and glad i am.  this stuff is SO good for us.

here’s a snippet,

 It can be said about nettle that it is one of the wonder plants that nature has gifted us with. It is renowned because of its astringent, expectorant, tonic, anti-inflammatory, diuretic properties and as an important source of beta-carotene, vitamin A, C and E, iron, calcium, phosphates and minerals. All these qualities recommend it as a powerful remedy against hepatic, arthritic or rheumatic conditions, and as an adjuvant in treating allergies, anemia and kidney diseases.

and this,

Nettles have a long history of use in the home as a herbal remedy and nutritious addition to the diet. The Nettle has long been valued as a medicinal and nutritional treasure.

Nettle is rich in chlorophyll, and a good source of beta carotene; vitamins A, C, and E; tannins; iron; calcium; silicon; potassium; phosphates; and various other minerals. Rich in iron vital to circulation and helpful in high blood pressure.

Nettle leaf has recently become a popular treatment for allergies based on one preliminary study. Nettle leaf is highly nutritious, and in cooked form may be used as a general dietary supplement.

so i’ve been making big jugs of the tea, sweetening it with some raw honey, and we’ve been drinking it like juice. it tastes great – mild and a bit sweet with the honey! (confession: i love having juice in the fridge but we tend to over-drink it when we have it … i feel much better keeping nettles tea around).

wow. we got to see our precious boy today and it really made the excitement soar for him! something about seeing his very real, very perfect face made this all seem so real and amazing.

the ultrasound tech is wonderful, and did all her “checks” and then asked, “was your last baby very big?” first clue. haa! after completing the measurements, she said that he is measuring at least 3 weeks big (36 weeks)… on his body/limb measurements. his organs are measuring right on track, at 33 weeks. everything looks absolutely wonderful.

and he weighs over 6 lbs! i *knew* he felt big!

we got the date of our csection (a totally surreal thing): september 24th at 4pm.


i am really just hoping that he stays cooking til then. they’ve scheduled another ultrasound in 3 weeks to see how he’s continuing to grow and then to reevaluate csection plans, if needed. oh boy!

the heat this week (over 100 every day) is really just miserable. and i’ve officially started feeling periods of real discomfort – the aches, cramps, contractions and wild movement. the other night i was awakened by a charley horse in my right calf muscle that was so excruciating. fun stuff!

but oh so thankful for this precious gift, this growing boy.


July 4, 2012

25 weeks pregnant

June 19, 2012

i realized that i’ve posted so little in this space about this pregnancy … such a contrast to my near-constant thoughts and focus on my pregnancy with josiah! such a HUGE difference overall, not just in this little space but in the daily living-ness of pregnancy this time around.

and honestly, it’s a welcome relief! but, i feel like i also don’t want to *miss* this time, have this pregnancy fly by so quickly without stopping occasionally to notice and focus and savor.

this sweet blessing.

and so, some highlights and notables:

i am feeling baby move a ton! very similar to josiah. he moves morning, day and night. i feel him more down low and sometimes alarmingly low, like … WOW, yowch! mike has felt him several times.

i am in that nice in-between time when i am *totally* over the blah-queasy-yucky and not yet totally big and uncomfortable.

but i do feel big! and i am bigger than i was at this point w/j, sure.

i have gained 24 lbs – another yowch! i think i gained 35 max with j so i am hoping that the weight gain sloooooooooowwws down a bit.

i no longer have any specific cravings (the mexican food frenzy has subsided) and pretty much have my regular taste and appetite.

no swelling yet … well, unless you count my double chin. lol.

it is getting interesting to hold/rock/nurse josiah, as my belly grows. this evening i sort of moved his little body down and around the big belly bulge as we rocked and cuddled. should get more and more interesting i imagine!

i haven’t had nearly the braxton-hicks contractions this time, but i’ve had some of those crazy sharp “side stich” pains that are the worst for a  short minute. (but they don’t scare me and i don’t go to this, ‘what if?’ crazy space. i just know they are normal, growing pains.)

we are having the hardest time with a name! we talk about it so much and each will offer a name when one “hits” but there hasn’t been that ONE that we both love. it’s so hard! i am hoping we come across something soon and make a decision.

i cannot believe our son will be born in about 3 months! really, that is SO SOON. i am trying to really appreciate the “quiet” moments i have now … and they are few and far between. hee hee. but right now, for instance, josiah is sleeping … madison is at a friend’s house … and so i have some down time. that is going to change dramatically when little green bean arrives! it’s a LOT to wrap my mind around so i’m opting instead to focus on the blessing … on the gift and the fleeting season this is and will be AND how totally in love i am going to be with this new precious gift.